50.
5.0… sounds a little better, it is like “New and Improved” … 5 decades around the sun and full of learned experiences, so the story goes.
I am one day into this beautiful round number and so far so good. I will not lie though, yesterday sucked!
I have never been one to go all out and celebrate my day, I am not a big party person and I do not need the excitement around me. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely loved the years that big fun things happened, or I was surprised with something special. I just do not anticipate the day.
(I know where this comes from, and that is a story for another day…. )
Yesterday felt lonely and empty, and I know it is because I am in another state removed from family and long time friends. The biggest one, my son.
50, a milestone in life.
I woke up quiet with nothing big planned and relaxed in bed for a while. It had snowed 5” so waking up to a winter wonderland was peaceful and beautiful. I rallied and did a little shopping for things I needed and then we found ourselves at the Denver Museum. It was a cute place with some wonderful local artist. My phone kept reminding me that FB love is out there along with friendly reminders that I was being thought of on that day.
My Kiddo woke me early with a phone call and we talked a few times through the day, mostly via text. He reminded me to find some ice cream and waffles, a birthday tradition since he was little. I confided in him that the day was very hard and how I was thankful for him finding the time to call. He said he was sorry for how I was feeling, and he loved me. The day was a little brighter in that moment.
My partners gentle smile and warm embrace held me as I cried in Walmart trying to pick out waffles and ice cream.
As the night went on, my son sent me a few more messages with “happy birthdays” from his team. (he is a pitching coach at a university). This made me laugh and cry. I can only imagine the conversation with the guys and his connection to them. I am so thankful for the man I raised.
I went to sleep last night knowing that no matter what is happening in life, I have a best friend in my son. And for anyone who knows us…. This statement is so true.
I know age is just a number and honestly, I have never been afraid of growing older, welcomed it, I have always felt that my biggest accomplishments in life were going to begin here, in this chapter.
Maybe I had to ring this year in quietly so that I could take the time to reflect on all the things I have gone through in the first 50 so that I can enter into 5.0 that much better.
Happy Birthday To Me.
Live and Love BARE
~Ash
